Willing

It's been a while so I'll get right to it.

Check it

"Large crowds followed Jesus as he came down the mountainside. Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. 'Lord,' the man said, 'if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.'" Matthew 8:1,2.

Wait a minute! Who is this dude?!
And what in the world is he doing?!
Does he not know his place?! Does he not know he is out of place?!
How dare he?! Eeww!!

What am I talking about; is that what you're thinking?

Check out Leviticus 13 and read until verse 44.

Put yourself in the place of someone who was considered to have a "serious skin disease". Not cool... not cool... Bring it to modern day: imagine having something as serious as AIDS (not HIV) and having to scream out--at the top of your lungs--"Unclean! Unclean! I got AIDS! Unclean!" every time you go out to the mall, to school, to church, on a date, to a party, to the supermarket, an amusement park... down the block 'n round the corner.......... get it?

Let that sink in.

Worst yet, imagine having a HUGE pimple at the tip of your nose and having to walk around with that thing! The pimple would be the one screaming out, at the top of its lungs--if pimple's had lungs--"I'm a pimple! I'm a pimple! On his nose!!"

No, seriously.

Verses 45 & 46: "Those who suffer from a serious skin disease must tear their clothing and leave their hair uncombed. They must cover their mouth and call out, 'Unclean! Unclean!' As long as the serious disease lasts, they will be ceremonially unclean. They must live in isolation in their place outside the camp."

Let that sink in.

Back to modern day, you couldn't go to any malls, to any schools, to any church, on that date, to that party, to any supermarkets, nor amusement parks, not even down the block 'n round the corner because you wouldn't have a home among the normal people; excuse me, I meant the clean people. No. You'd have to live somewhere isolated. Alienated. Forgotten.

That's harsh.

So, now you understand what I'm talking about?
Who is this dude and what is he doing?!

I don't know who he is, but I know this: he had leprosy and he came to see Jesus!

You see, you don't need to know this man's name to know that he was an intelligent person. He understood his condition, which happened to be the worst possible condition. He needed no one to remind him of how dirty and filthy he was. In fact, he had to do the reminding, right? He didn't need anyone to tell him he did not belong. He didn't need anyone to tell him absolutely anything about his physical state; he knew it all too well! As a matter of fact, nothing anyone could have said to him would have made him feel any less than what he already felt. This dude knew, very well, he was at the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the lowest bottom. So he used that to his advantage and made way to meet the person he came to meet. Shouting aloud, "Unclean! Unclean!" he made his way through the large crowd of people. He didn't even have to say "excuse me", people were willingly getting out of homeboy's way; they didn't wanna be contaminated by him. EeWw!!

How ironic, he waited until Jesus came d o w n from the mountainside. Ha!

Notice that he knelt before Jesus. Think of it symbolically. How much lower could this guy go? (No, we're not playing Limbo). Jesus didn't ask him to kneel, but he felt the need to lower himself even more in the presence of the Most High. "...those who humble themselves will be exalted." Matthew 23:12.

Something interesting is about to happen.

"...if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean", he said. In other words, "if you're willing to give me a little bit of your time and not brush me off like the others; if you can see me for who I truly am; if you're willing to place yourself in my shoes; if you're willing to look past my apparent imperfection; if you are willing to be contaminated by getting in contact with me; if you're willing to be criticized for helping me or even trying to help me; Lord, if you are willing to just give me your minimal.... you can heal me and make me clean."

I remember not too long ago I was going through a very rough period in my life. Not even my own family knew the extent of what I was enduring; I didn't want to tell them. It was mine to carry. I tried my best to not let my pain and frustration and everything else show on my face. There reached a time where I need a hug, someone to put a hand on my shoulder, some sort of contact, something to let me know someone cared: I got nothing, until I prayed for it. And one Saturday, right before the prayer, I asked God something very simple, "God, please give me a sign that you care." As I walked up to the front for the prayer, the pastor came down to pray and decided to stand right beside me and placed his arms around me and began praying.

So I understand why this guy said "if you're willing". He'd been longing for someone to show that they care about him in spite of his condition. He just wanted someone who was willing to love him and notice him even in his lowest state.

You see, you won't understand unless you've been there. You can't feel the pain in his words unless at some point you've uttered them. His words contain fatigue, hopelessness. These are words of a broken spirit, a tired body, mind, and soul. Don't try to understand if you haven't been there. You can't. You won't.

A few days after the earthquake in Haiti I spoke with my uncle who is still there, telling him that I'd been glued to CNN in order to keep up with how things were developing over there. I wanted to let him know that the pain he was living over there was the pain I was feeling over here. Then he said to me, "...you'd have to be here... to feel what I'm feeling." I could tell in his voice that his spirit was broken, that things seemed almost hopeless. The earthquake had pushed my favorite uncle and thousand others to that point, that small margin between sanity and insanity.

I couldn't understand the earthquake; I wasn't there! All I had was CNN... and it was impossible to know what my uncle was living (still is) through a tv screen: I had to be there.... get it?

So...

As lowly and filthy and worthless the man with leprosy felt, I've been there for different reasons. So I understand, even deeper, the desperation in his words, "if you are willing..." You feel so unwanted that you're practically at the mercy of whoever. Your own body, mind, soul, and everything and anything else that comprises you rejects you! The weight of both your internal and external condition overpowers and subdues you into the darkest pits of depression and self doubt: trust me, I've been there! Every sin is magnified. Every mistake is magnified. Every little thing you ever did wrong in your life seems bigger than you are...!

...trust me, I've been there.

I sank so low; I mean, the man with leprosy sank so low, no human could possibly reach out to touch him.

Have you been there?

Glory be to God, because...

"Jesus reached out and touched him. 'I am willing,' he said. 'Be healed!' And instantly the leprosy disappeared." Matthew 8:3

You see, Jesus is never worried about what others have to say when it comes to the healing and salvation of a soul. He is never worried about getting his hands dirty or being contaminated. Jesus is always willing, and since he and God are one, that means that God is also always willing. Not only is God willing, but he is able!

Never think you're too dirty or too lowly that Jesus isn't willing to help you. You could feel that you're the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the lowliest bottom's bottom: Jesus will come down the mountainside to meet you there. And even there, he'll reach out to touch you, and he will say as he told our homeboy, "I AM willing. Be healed!"

Enjoy "Hold Me Now" by my man Kirk Franklin