Hey! Focus!

I believe that one of the toughest things for me as a young follower of Christ is directing my focus in the right places. I don't believe that I am the only one struggling with this problem. Let's face it, it's tough being a Christian, especially being a young male or female. I know I've mentioned this somewhat before in another entry, but check me out on this one:

I know that Jesus said, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me." Mark 8:34 And by 'take up your cross' he's implying that, basically, it ain't gonna be easy.

But, geez! It really ain't E-Z!

I know that we are "temporary residents and foreigners" 1 Peter 2:11 and that we shouldn't get caught up on worldly stuff, and all that jazz,

but really, that's not so easy either!

Where am I going with this?

There are so many things in this world claiming our attention and focus.

You know what they are. I know what they are. We know what they are. And we get so caught up at times, that we lose ourselves in the things that quite frankly don't matter.

We focus so much on earthly things, and the enemy sees this, and trust me, he takes advantage. Quick. And we get rocked by life. Over and over and over again. Time and time and time again. Then we lose faith. We lose sight of what truly matters. We forget who we are and what we're supposed to be doing. And we're weak. And faint. And quit or want to quit. All because we get so caught up on earthly things...

I've been there. And it continues to happen to me till this day.
I find it so easy to focus on things of this world and so
hard to focus on things above.
I can watch ESPN all day long but to find
time alone to pray, like Jesus did,...
I can spend an entire day with friends and stuff,
but to spend 15 minutes with Jesus...

What is going on?

1 John 2

" I am writing to you who are God’s children because your sins have been forgiven through Jesus.I am writing to you who are mature in the faith because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning. I am writing to you who are young in the faith because you have won your battle with the evil one. I have written to you who are God’s children because you know the Father. I have written to you who are mature in the faith because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning. I have written to you who are young in the faith because you are strong. God’s word lives in your hearts, and you have won your battle with the evil one."
1 John 2:12-14

Read the previous verses so you can better understand what these verses mean.
Now check out what this is saying. John goes from writing "I am writing to you...because" to "I have written to you...because" just to make a point: everything he's written so far, his readers already knew. Which is kind of like us; we already know everything, right?

The focus of his message is to walk in the light and stay away from the darkness. And he's told them that over and over and over again. I mean, he's told us that over and over and over again. I mean, he's told me that over and over and over again.

I wonder what he's trying to prevent...?

"Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever." 1 John 2:15-17

No wonder we get rocked by life over and over and over again. We have fallen in love with the world; aka, in love with this darkness; aka, this perfection turned junk by sin. We've gotten caught in earth's filthy webs and feel comfortable being upside down and sideways, distorted and disoriented, filthy and blinded by the same thing we've fallen in love with.

But check this out

I like what the King James Version says:

"I have written unto you, young men [and young women], because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one." It's the same exact thing as the other Bible version, but I like the words here best because it's more empowering.

Although it's not easy, we're strong!

Although we are unsure of where to turn, know the word of God abideth in us!

Although we feel defeated, we have overcome the wicked one!

Take a deep breath and remember when you just got baptized.
Remember how you felt once you came out of that water knowing you just got a fresh start.
Did you know the Holy Spirit was poured out on you?
Remember how you felt the day after in your brand new walk with Jesus.

Remember?

Check it

"I am writing these things to warn you about those [people or things] who want to lead you astray. But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ." 1 John 2:26, 27

I want to stop wasting my time and for once--and for as long as I must--turn [and keep] my eyes on Jesus.

you with me?

Enjoy "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" by Newsboys; it's an excellent version

2 Tags

Tonight I heard one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard. Actually, I've heard similar stories before, but for some reason, every time one of these come about it always feels as if I've never heard a similar one before.

If there is one thing I cannot understand right now is the love of parents for their children. I mean, let's face it, as children, we were/are not exactly a walk in the park. I know I was one heck of a ride as a lil' dude duding around doing what lil' dudes do.

And some are worst than others.

Anyway, I heard this story tonight on the radio while driving home.

It's the story of Tim, his son Ryan, and Tim's wife.

When little Ryan was born, he had some some issues with his liver. Apparently, his family always knew that it would not be the last time they'd have to face this issue of little Ryan's liver problem.

It happened that several years later, a much older Ryan--about 8 or 9 years old--is battling for his life as his liver issues get more serious. Obviously his parents are feeling the full effect, the full blow of the entire situation... I can only imagine what is going on through Tim's head...

Maybe he thought he would never be able to teach his son how to drive, or give him advice on dating and women, or attend one of his high school baseball games.

Maybe he thought nothing at all.

And what about Ryan's mom, what could she have been thinking? Maybe she closed her eyes to cry and simultaneously remembered carrying an unborn Ryan around for 9 months. Maybe she thought about that connection that only a mother and a child have. Maybe she thought about that happiness that only a woman is privileged to feel after giving life to a new creature. Maybe she felt angry seeing her son's life slowly being taken away after she happily gave life to him several years earlier.

Maybe she thought nothing at all.

Maybe.

Little Ryan's life was at stake, and like any parent, mom offered to give a piece of her liver to save her son's life. In the end, Ryan and Mom became Tim's heroes because the one taught him the meaning of fighting for life, and the other taught him the meaning of sacrifice. Self sacrifice.

As I listened to the story I could not help but to feel moved by it. Then the radio lady said something which is the inspiration for this entry; she said, "Now your wife has given Ryan life twice: first when she brought him into the world, and again by giving a piece of herself to save his life."

You know, my Daddy did the same for me too.

First, he brought me into this world:

"Then God said, 'Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us'...Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person. So God created human beings in his own image." Genesis 1:26, 27 & 2:7

At first I was simply an inanimate object. Unconscious. Unaware. Un-alive. I was just a creation. A special creation, though. To make sure I was his, my Creator gave me a piece of himself and I got life. Conscious. Aware. Alive.

Then my life too was hanging on the balance when I got infected by sin. And the originator of sin wanted to claim my life. And the originator of sin claimed my life. And said I was his.

I can only imagine what was going through my Daddy's mind.

Maybe he remembered how carefully he detailed every part of me:

"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
Psalm 139:14

Maybe he remembered that connection that only a Creator feels in the moment he looks into his creation's eyes and sees himself reflected. Maybe he thought about the times we were able to stand in each other's presence, without needing a mediator--yet.

Maybe he thought nothing at all

and simply acted out of pure, genuine love

In any case, in order to reclaim me--although I never stopped being his--he was not willing to give up a piece of himself. Instead, he gave himself up entirely.

Entirely

"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son..." John 3:16

So now I'm not only his by creation, I'm also his by redemption.

Let this sink in: we belong to God twice! aka, I have two of the greatest tags in the story of mankind.

Created in the likeness of the Creator & redeemed by the Creator/Redeemer.

Yeah, let that sink for a minute...

Enjoy "I Know My Redeemer Lives"




BTW: I stumbled on this song; it's not the one you think it is

Your Way or the HIGHway

So I'm chilling in my motel room watching TV. HBO to be precise. Then I see cartoons. I like cartoons. Little Red Happy Coat? What the...? Oh! It's the Asian version of the American Version Riding in the Hood... I mean, Little Red Riding Hood.

Know the Story, right?

I'll be nice enough to share it with you, you know, to catch up with your childhood.

Riding in the Hood

the tale of

Little Red Riding Hood

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a village near the forest. Whenever she went out, the little girl wore a red riding cloak, so everyone in the village called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One morning, Little Red Riding Hood asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other. "That's a good idea", her mother said. So they packed a nice little basket for Little Red Riding Hood to take to her grandmother.

"Remember, go straight to Grandma's house," her mother cautioned. "Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The woods are dangerous." "Don't worry, mommy," said Little Red Riding Hood, "I'll be careful.

"But when Little Red Riding Hood noticed some lovely flowers in the woods, she forgot her promise to her mother. She picked a few, watched the butterflies flit about for awhile, listened to the frogs croaking and then picked a few more. Little Red Riding Hood was enjoying the warm summer day so much, that she didn't notice a dark shadow approaching out of the forest behind her."

Is it me or does this sound familiar?

"Suddenly, the wolf appeared beside her. "What are you doing out here, little girl?" the wolf asked in a voice as friendly as he could muster. "I'm on my way to see my Grandma who lives through the forest, near the brook," Little Red Riding Hood replied. Then she realized how late she was and quickly excused herself, rushing down the path to her Grandma's house. The wolf, in the meantime, took a shortcut."

Shortcut. This story is too long.

"But Grandmother! What big ears you have," said Little Red Riding Hood as she edged closer to the bed. "The better to hear you with, my dear," replied the wolf. "But Grandmother! What big eyes you have," said Little Red Riding Hood. "The better to see you with, my dear," replied the wolf. "But Grandmother! What big teeth you have," said Little Red Riding Hood her voice quivering slightly. "The better to eat you with, my dear," roared the wolf and he leaped out of the bed and began to chase the little girl. Almost too late, Little Red Riding Hood realized that the person in the bed was not her Grandmother, but a hungry wolf. She ran across the room and through the door, shouting, "Help! Wolf!" as loudly as she could. A woodsman who was chopping logs nearby heard her cry and ran towards the cottage as fast as he could.

"Oh Grandma, I was so scared!" sobbed Little Red Riding Hood, "I'll never speak to strangers or dawdle in the forest again." "There, there, child. You've learned an important lesson. Thank goodness you shouted loud enough for this kind woodsman to hear you!" The woodsman knocked out the wolf and carried him deep into the forest where he wouldn't bother people any longer. Little Red Riding Hood and her Grandmother had a nice lunch and a long chat."

Seriously what possible lesson can we draw from such a childish story?

Proverbs 14

You may not know or realize it, but this is our story. My story. Your story. From the dawn of my existence God already laid out a road for me to follow, you know, the thing people call a purpose or something. . . . but like the protagonist, I started riding in the hood; I mean, I got distracted like Miss Riding Hood.

Peep this

I knew what my calling was ever since I was born. My mom made sure to repeat the story over and over again any opportunity she got. But I wasn't having that. I wanted to do my own thing, you know? If anyone could do anything it's God, and I was sure he would have used me in whatever way he wanted to, without my resistance, in whatever way I chose to go.

In other words, I thought I could "noticed some lovely flowers in the woods"... and "watched the butterflies flit about for awhile"... and "listen to the frogs croak"... Starting to make any sense?

In other words, instead of walking the path already paved for me, I went ahead and got a Bachelor of Arts in Film & Media Studies and Foreign Languages. Joint major. One of the top liberal arts colleges in the country. $40K+ a year. All that to say my way led me no way. Instead, I found myself face to face with the wolf.

Notice how Miss Riding Hood was so into what she was not supposed to be doing that she did not even notice with what she was talking to. Her mind was so out of place, that it did not click in her head: "What am I doing talking to a wolf?"

Once I found myself with a very costly degree and a very costly sum of student loans to pay back, it didn't click that doors were not opening for me because I was on the wrong road. Dudes, I spent months--almost a year--sitting at home. Jobless. Sitting on an expensive degree. I questioned and questioned and questioned. I became so frustrated that frustration could no longer frustrate a frustrated me. But it did not click.

I remember crying bitterly after I had spoken to my father on the phone the day I found out he turned his back on his family in preference for his preferred family. I cried. Bitterly. Bitterly. I cried. The entire time repeating one question: why me?

Like Riding in the Hood; excuse me, Little Red Riding Hood, my tears were an equivalent to her cry of wolf. By that time the wolf had not only devoured my family, my relationships; I was his next target. I am still his target. I am very sure that my tears fell up to heaven and almost instantly "A woodsman who was chopping logs nearby heard [my] cry and ran towards" me.

Notice that Jesus was a carpenter, a man who dealt with wood professionally. It's no coincidence. Jesus. He ran to my rescue. Not walked. Not FedExd. Not text'd. Ran. When he tasted my tears and realized how bitter they were, he did not send someone on his behalf, but ran personally towards me. Glory! and he does the same, can do the same, will do the same for you.

At first it didn't click. But I later realized that the logs that certain woodsman was chopping

were for a bridge to lead me from where I thought I should have been to where I was
meant to be. To where I am.

And that wolf... Well, he's already defeated, and will be put in a place where he will no longer, eternally not ever, bother anyone again. Guaranteed!

Where you at?

Walking down your road

or

your own road?

"There is a way that seems right to a man,

but its end is the way to death." Proverbs 14:12

Any doubts on which way is the right way. . .

"Jesus told him, 'I am the way..." John 14:6


Enjoy this song by MercyMe "Where You Lead Me"

Mirror Mirror On The Wall. . .

Throwback

Remember the mirror game? That game when two people stand in front of each other and the one has to imitate everything the other does, as if looking in a mirror?

Man, those where the days!

Just last Saturday in church two little girls did that for the children story. It was so cute. The one was crackin' up! And the other was so shy... After a while it started to die out. . . Sad.

The funny thing is when the person looking in the mirror does the most mind boggling things and the mirror has to imitate it, you know what I mean?

Ha! Good times. Good times.

So if you have no idea what I'm talking about, it can only mean one thing: your childhood sucked!

Just joking. Not funny; I know.

What is true is that in one way or another we've all played the role of the mirror, you know, the imitator. I remember watching a movie and wanting to imitate stuff I had just seen.

Even when resiting a line from the movie, I have to imitate the exact movements and facial expressions of the character--or at least I think it's exact.

I don't consider myself a funny person. But my family does. And they love to see me imitate other family members. Just yesterday I imitated one of my uncles and my mom was on the floor crying of laughter. Literally.

Ephesians 5

At times I find myself imitating the wrong thing, the wrong person, the wrong people.

And you?

I remember a summer in high school I went to a university down south for a summer program. We were all high school students from all over the country, which was cool. As I was chilling this one time, kicking it with a few other dudes, a student from the university found out that me and my boy were both from Philly so he invited us to kick it with him in his dorm room. There, I was faced with an interesting scenario. Homeboy lit up a blunt, took several puffs, and passed it over to me as he asked if I too wanted a few puffs. . .

What would you have done? Honestly.

You see, many times we find ourselves faced with similar scenarios. We find ourselves with acquaintances who do not share our same beliefs and we are faced with an interesting decision: do I stand out and not blend in? or do I blend in to not stand our like a sore thumb?

What do you do? Honestly.

I've caught myself many times jumping from imitating Christ to imitating the world in a matter of minutes, most notably, the minutes separating the closing of the Sabbath and the start of the week... you follow?

In college, I was Adventist on the Seventh Day instead of a Seventh Day Adventist, get it?

This is real talk. I would pretend to keep the Sabbath during the day and sweat my butt off at night dancing to Satan's music. Imma keep it real!

Even now, I've found myself pretending to be something during the week that I could not pretend to be in church during the Sabbath. . . feel me?

I've even had people I know from other churches tell me how hung over they are on Sabbath morning because on Friday night they were out drinking and partying-- to later do the same thing Saturday night. Once Sabbath evaporates.

Yeah, it's deep.

Who the heck are we imitating?

I'll give you a clue: it ain't God.

What's the point of calling ourselves--scratch that-- of calling myself a Christian if I'm not imitating Christ?

Last I checked, the term 'Christian' implies someone who follows Christ; aka, someone who imitates Christ; aka, someone who mirrors Christ; aka, someone who reflects Christ. . . to the world. . . all seven days...

"Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children." Ephesians 5:1

Everything. That word means everything. In the way we think. In the way we talk. In the activities we do. Everything.

Check it.

Imagine looking at yourself in a mirror and your reflection is not doing what you are doing. That would freak me out and I'd scream like a little 3rd grade girl.

Likewise, if I call myself a Christian, then I must be true as Christ's reflection to the world. When the world looks at me, they must not see anything else but the Christ who lives in me.

I'm gonna let Ephesians 5 wrap it up

"Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,

“Awake, O sleeper,
rise up from the dead,
and Christ will give you light.”

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:2-20

Like me, if you've been imitating the wrong person, let us try to make an effort to imitate Christ. It's not going to be easy. No, not at all. But I am sure of one thing, what we'll gain will be greater than any obstacles we'll face. And victory--eternal victory--will taste ever so sweet. . .

Enjoy "I Want To Be Just Like You" by Philips, Craig and Dean

By the way, I did not smoke that blunt. Honestly.

Just in case you were still wondering. . .

If I Were Rich (Remix)

I want to start off by apologizing for writing about this topic again, but I think this is such powerful stuff that I must put it out there.

So by now you should be wondering, "What in the world is this dude talking about?"

Great question!

But if you'd payed attention to the title you would have already guessed it, don't you think?

Granted that was a horrible joke, let's get down to business.

I'm talking about being rich. But this is the remix.

In my earlier entry,"If I Were Rich", I made a point that our promised heavenly treasures are what we should all strive for; better yet, what I should strive for. The lil' crappy stuff on this earth is not going to last. So what's the point of wasting my time, dig me?

I'm sure you've heard of the rapper 50 Cent.

I trust you don't own any of his music. . .

but that's a different entry, for a later time.

In any case, 50 --pronounced fitty; not fifty, and it's cent; not cents-- released an album entitled "Get Rich Or Die Tryin". There is a single on the album which shares the same same title. And, oh! by the way, a movie with the same exact title!

Can we say the man don't wanna be broke?

Luke 12

I ask: is it wrong to strive for earthly riches? Don't rush to answer. Think. Hard.

Check it.

Jesus is so sexy with it all the time.

So here he is chilling with his crew and all these different people wanted to hall@Him. While he was doing his thing, you know, being sexy with it, some random dude shouted,

"Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father’s estate with me.”

Someone probably said the poor guy like, "Dang, homie! Your brother cheap!" Some laughs.
Jesus replied, "Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?" The dude was probably like, "Huh? I don't get it... what does he mean by..." But before the poor guy's brain exploded Jesus said something very interesting,

"Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own." Luke 12:15

What?

I thought life is measured by how much you own.

Isn't it true that the more money I have, the more successful I am considered?
Isn't it true that the more clothes and sneakers and shoes I have, the more (insert whatever) I am?
Isn't it true that the more girls I plow through, the more esteemed I am among my boys?
Isn't true the more guys I sleep with, the more (insert whatever) I am?

Get the point?

"A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. He said to himself, 'What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.' Then he said, 'I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. And I’ll sit back and say to myself, 'My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!' But God said to him, 'You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?'" Luke 12:16-20

Strong words? I'd say so. Now try this: omit 'crops' 'wheat' and 'other goods'. Add whatever it is you're trying to stack up on. Money? Cars? Girls? Sneaks? Shoes? Good times?

Notice what the protagonist says, "I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I'll have room enough to store..." Whatever he had he was not satisfied with; got that?

What goods do I have in my life that I'm not satisfied with?

And you?

The purview of this has expanded to things other than simply economics. What in my life is driving me to want more and more and more that I must 'tear down my barns and build bigger ones'?

Now after we've substituted our whatever in into the text, let's see it again.

Do you see it?

Check it.

One thing remains the same, You fool!

See it now? God himself is all up in my face calling me a fool, yo! And yours.
I'm a fool if all I wanna do is stack up on things of this earth, yo!
You're a fool if all you wanna do is stack up on things of this earth, YO!

"Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God. [Yo!]” Luke 12:21

"Like a partridge that hatches eggs she has not laid, so are those who get their wealth by unjust means. At midlife they will lose their riches; in the end, they will become poor old fools." Jeremiah 17:11

Wait a minute, did God just call me a fool?!

Twice, yo!

So God must want me to be poor then, because it clearly says that I'm a fool for storing up earthly wealth. That sucks!

wait a minute. . .

"And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom." Luke 14:29-32

No. God does not want any of his children to be broke. God does not want me to be broke. Nor you. It wouldn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. It's senseless!

He just wants me to check him out first, and then he'll take care of my business. And yours. If you check him out first, that is. . .

And the cool part is that he does not mind giving me the Kingdom.

No, it's not that he doesn't mind; he finds great happiness to give me the Kingdom!

Dude, I love this remix. . .

Enjoy, "Cara a Cara" by Marcos Vidal.
Translation: "Face to Face"; a song about when we get to see Jesus face to face... amazing!

Where Is The Love?

One of my favorite songs by Celine Dion is entitled "Where is the Love?"

I know it may seem a bit strange, but she got a voice! And ain't nothing wrong with a lil' Celine Dion once in a while... you know... an iPod playlist even..?

Anyway. Besides the fact that it's a good song, the title asks a very good question: where is the love?

Once we became separated from God's perfect love due to sin, we've been longing to find a similar kind of love from various sources, you dig? We--me, you, humans--trip out if/when we feel unloved. There are the pretenders, trust me, who love to pretend; thus pretending to pretend they don't need love: got it?

But its in our nature.

To love.

To wanna be loved.

Some of us kill others for it. Some of us kill ourselves for it. Some of us sell ourselves for it. Some of us want to have a lot of them for it.

You ever seen a Maury Show episode about cheaters? The primary reasons why the cheater cheated is because the other person did not show him (or her) enough love..:

"She was never home, Maury!"

"The sex wasn't good enough."

"I just felt like I wasn't getting enough attention, so

I did my thing, you know?"

"I lived better days with her than with her."

"He was always there instead."

And the poor victim looks destroyed. Hurt.

Sounds familiar?

So here we are, constantly looking for love.
Better yet, looking for someone to love--us back.

Where has our search and research led us to?
Better yet, where has my search and research lead me to?

Even if I find myself with someone to love--me back,
I know I can't always count on it; remember: no one is perfect..?

so where is the love?

John 15: 9-14

"I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

A true, flawless, perfect, and everlasting love can only be found in Jesus.

No man. No woman. No parent. No husband. No wife. No boyfriend. No girlfriend.

No friend. No lover. No drug. No sex. No alcohol. No porn. No self. No weird toy.

No club. No bar. No street corner. No car. No house. No job. No money. No religion. No church.

No cult. No image. No fantasy.

Nothing!

Only Jesus.

and you'll realize that he'd been already loving you--back,
before you even loved him--back.

Enjoy this song by MercyMe called "How Great is Your Love"

Fool me once: Shame on me; Fool me twice: Shame on ... me

In all honesty, this entry is more for me than it is for anyone else who reads it or may read it.

I've come to a very crucial point in my life, where everything has become so magnified, senses so heightened; it's hard to explain. Everything is a struggle. Everything is a question. Everything is nothing. And nothing is nothing.
I'm carrying so many things around, bottled up in me, one day I'm going to explode.

For the better?

For the worse?

Who cares?

I'm tired.



I'm tired of being tired of constantly being tired.

Get it?

I could say it's life. But I wont. I could say it's all the devil's fault. But I wont. I could say many things... What I will say is that I blame myself. For most of what is going on in my head. My life. My heart. My spirit. . .

Check it.

Everyone has something they constantly struggle with. Or several.

No one's closet is free of skeletons, you dig? If yours is, then this blog is not for you to read; feel me?

Hope you don't have a weak stomach:

"As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness." Proverbs 26:11

This verse hits me every time I read it because I see myself in it, you know? It paints a very strong and suggestive picture. I am that dog and these 'things' is the vomit. I keep doing things as if God is not looking right at me.

Please, don't think I'm saying if I fix my problem I'll be perfect:

"We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind." Isaiah 64:6

"No one is righteous—not even one." Romans 3:10

but for some reason, like a dog, I keep returning to the same vomit. And it's not so tasty.

The worst thing is that I try to fool God.

Did you get that?

I try fooling God!

Psalms 139

This is to show how stupid I've been all this time. . .

Check it.

"O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up, you are still with me!" Psalm 139:1-18

I'm not even gonna magnify the key words in this passage because the overall concept is the same: No matter what I do, God is there! He can't be fooled. God cannot be fooled!

I am the fool

You are the fool

I have shared with you already that I have made the decision to become a soldier for Christ. And ever since this decision it seems as if my decision making has gotten poorer and poorer. I am being attacked in every way imaginable. Every fiber composing me, this sinner, is getting weaker and weaker...

and it's not like I don't know it. I know what's going on, trust me.
I just don't want to see it, I guess; or accept it, I guess.

Yet I keep fooling myself, thinking I am fooling God. He is probably looking down at me thinking, "This son of mine is so stupid--all the time." And smile a smile only a sad heart can smile.

You know, we as human beings are very hard headed--all the time. And we make ourselves believe that we can fool everybody and anybody but no one can fool us... yet we fool ourselves.

Talk about complex.

If you find yourself walking down the same road I've been walking on, take this as a sign telling you to make a U-turn. Stop fooling yourself. Stop trying to fool The Unfoolable.

My prayer

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24

for me. for you.


Enjoy this song by Chris Rice called "Untitled Hymn"