Faith Journey: Chapter 1

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for;

the evidence of things not yet seen." Hebrews 11:1

I remember this once I was describing how I visualized faith to a friend. I told her that faith is standing at the edge of a ridiculously high diving board, in a pitch black room with a pool, not knowing whether or not the pool has water. And God says the craziest possible thing: jump. There is no way out, except you jump. No way of seeing below. No way of knowing. There may not even be water in the pool. There may not even be a pool. And God says the craziest possible thing: jump. No way to even know if it is God. No way of knowing how far up or how close to the bottom. No way of knowing if there is a bottom; a solid one, at least. How long is the diving board? How wide? Is there space to take a step back? Is there space to move around? You cannot see. Nothing around to feel. No smell. You echos respond to your cry. You can only hear God repeating the craziest possible thing: jump.

What do you do?

"Then the Lord said to him, 'No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.' Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, 'Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That's how many descendants you will have!' And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him righteous because of his faith." Genesis 15:4-6

Then Isaac was born. Abram - now Abraham - and his wife Sarai - now Sarah - watched as their 'son-of-the-promise' grew. How many memories: his first steps; first time saying "mama" & "papa"; first time he smiled. The sleepless nights, the close calls, the moments of genuine innocence, the moments of a parent's discipline. Abraham, a very old man, chasing after his one and only son in the fields, teaching him the secrets of farming, the ins and outs of pasturing, how to connect with nature, how to see The Creator through nature. And the list goes on.

" 'Abraham!' God called. 'Yes,' he replied. 'Here I am.' 'Take your son, your only son - yes, Isaac, whom you love so much - and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.' " Genesis 22:1,2

No need to read between the lines in order to understand what God was demanding from Abraham. Go sacrifice him... as a burnt offering... your only son... Isaac... whom you love so much... why is God being so specific?

Abraham had another son, Ishmael. Obviously had God just left it as 'take your son and sacrifice him', Abraham could have simply taken Ishmy and called it a day; problem solved, the kid born out of wedlock is no more. That would have taken a huge load off Sarah's back, I'm sure.

But why Isaac? Isn't he the son-of-the-promise?

After receiving this news, Abraham had to step out of his tent and have a small chat with God, because this simply did not make any sense.

"Kelz!" God called.
"Yes, God, what's good?" I replied.
"I want you to become one of my soldiers - a preacher - with a message that I will give only to you. You down?"
"You know it! But this is how I'm going to do it..."
"Wait a minute there, cowboy, slow down. It's not on your terms but mine."
"Yeah, sure, but what I was saying is that I need these things to happen before I can go be who you want me to be. These things are important to me. By doing them, you'd be giving me a sign that this is truly what you want me to do."

"Actually, one of those things belongs to me, and I'm gonna need you to sacrifice it, for me. Yes, that thing - that only thing you love so much - I'm gonna need you to give me that. And I know you won't be able to under certain circumstances, so I'm telling you to go to a place I will show you."
"God are you serious?! Why this?! God, there is no way! You and I spoke about this, remember? What about what we spoke about that one time? God, please answer me and give me some clarity, because this is just insane..."

"Isaac? God are you sure? Didn't you make me look up at the sky before he was born and tell me that through him my descendants will be as numerous as these stars? You must be making a huge mistake. How can I possibly kill my own son! There has to be a mistake. Dude, I'm old! You don't expect me to have another son, do you? It took me a hundred years just to get this one! And now you want me to sacrifice him as a burnt offering? God, please answer me and give me some clarity, because this is just insane..."

"And Abraham believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him

as righteous because of his faith." Genesis 15:6

The next morning, Abraham, two of his servants, Isaac, and a donkey set out on a three day journey to the place where God was to show them. Although 'Abraham believed the Lord' I cannot ignore the fact that he was a human and a parent who, by the way, was walking around knowing he was about to sacrifice his only child. Each night they set camp before arriving to Moriah, I imagine Abraham still pleading and arguing with God.

"Are you sure you're not making a mistake, God? Can't you see you're contradicting yourself? Can't you see how confusing and frustrating this is? Why do you always take away the things we love most? I do not see how you're gonna work this one out, honestly. In what possible way could there be a way out of this one? Why are you doing this to me? Why couldn't be something else that I don't really care for? God, are you listening to me? Can you just answer me!"

"Put it like this, Kelz, if I didn't answer Abraham..."

"On the third day of their journey, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 'Stay here with the donkey,' Abraham told the servants. 'The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.' " Genesis 22:5

Conventional wisdom would say that Abraham was lying to his servants and to Isaac. And that's precisely why it's called conventional wisdom not divine wisdom. Speaking the way he spoke, Abraham listened to the craziest possible thing God could say, and jumped, not knowing where he would land, if he would land. But he jumped. And all it took was that jump to propel him to a level where was able to look square into his son's eyes and say, "God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son." Genesis 22:8

In the time of God's silence, Abraham began to understand - and eventually understood - that when the Main Dude speaks, his words need no revision. God's promise to Abraham was met! He did not need to go back and revisit what he'd already told him, because when God speaks, he will do what he said he'll do. Period.


So here I am on my personal faith journey. I continue to plead and argue with God as he is leading me to the place where he wants me to go. I guess it's slowly happening, so like Abraham, I am beginning to understand that when the Main Dude speaks, he will do what he said he'll do. Period. I guess it's slowly happening, but like Abraham I want to be propelled to that level where I can live confidently knowing that regardless of the situation, circumstance, obstacle, whatever, I can not only say, not only believe, but trust and know that God will provide, that God has already provided.

I don't want to be given a title as prestigious as 'The Father of Faith' or 'A Man After God's Own Heart' - although that would be kinda cool. What I simply want is this:

Teach me your ways, O Lord,
that I may live according to your truth!
Grand me purity of heart,
so that I may honor you. Psalms 86:11

Enjoy "My Deliverer" by Chris Tomlin