Faith Journey: Chapter 2

Who's Boss?

So I've already said how frustrating I have been in recent times, and I'm going to say it again. Some days are perfect. Most days are rough - and I'm being generous by saying that. And I am beginning to realize more and more the origin of my frustration.

Logic states that if you're doing something that really hurts, you stop doing it so that it doesn't continue hurting. Makes sense, right? And there are many examples which can be used to illustrate why this is very logical. So why is it so illogical when it comes to those things we simply cannot let go of mentally, emotionally?

I guess by now I've given away what I am referring to. Why is it that we - that I - cannot let go of things that hurt me? What makes it so difficult? Why does it seem so impossible? What's the deal with simply letting go..?


Some dude came to Jesus and asked what he needed to do in order to be saved or have eternal life.

"Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?" Matthew 19:16

To sum up the story, Jesus told him that he needed keep the commandments. I imagine that the dude chuckled to himself and gave Jesus that look as if saying, "Are you for real?" Jesus saw the look and heard the chuckle, so he took it to the next level:

"If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." verse 21

The hardest thing for this dude to accept was the whole 'sell all your possessions' phrase.

Ever heard the saying 'money is power' and 'power yields control'? Which one of us, as humans, does not like to be in control... of absolutely anything?

Imagine: would you like someone to be in complete control of your health?
Would you like someone to be in complete control of your money?
Would you like someone to be in complete control of your person?
Do you even like it when someone else drives your car, if you have a car?

These may not mean absolutely anything... but I can't help to think that this is exactly what the dude was considering when Jesus told him to 'sell all of his possessions'. In essence, Jesus told him to 'let go', and when he added "follow me" he meant 'let God'.

"...go and sell your possessions" was Jesus' way of ridding this dude from all the stuff he simply could not let go of.

I remember watching a home improvement show on TV once and the homeowner wanted to remodel her home after/due to her husband's death. However, in order to raise enough money to buy new furniture and accessories, she was asked to sell some of the existing stuff in her house. There was one particular item - which I cannot remember what it was - that was of high sentimental value because it belonged to her deceased husband. It took some very powerful convincing from the part of the show host for this hurting widow to finally agree to selling the item.

Likewise, Jesus wanted to do the same for this dude.

"..go and sell all your possessions". In other words, "..go and let go all of the crap you're still holding on to. Rid yourself from everything that has nothing to do with me - which is everything you're currently holding to. Throw it all away! Let it go! Dude, clear your mind.. loosen your grip. They're pointless. They're old. They're worthless. Sell them! Give them away! I want you to have nothing; yes, nothing! I want you to have nothing because..."

"Then come, follow me." In other words, "then come, remember what I just told you? - 'you will have treasure in heaven' - which is nothing compared to all the crap you're still holding on to. Let me give you some of the good stuff that I have. But it goes deeper than that, follow me! Wherever I go you go. Whatever I say you say. Whatever I do you do. Let me control you. Yes, I mean just that. Let me control the way you think, the way you see, the way you speak, the way you dress, the way you breathe and eat and drink and walk. Let me control everything that defines you. Let me be in everything that is you. You're stuff is worthless but the things I'll give were paid for with blood - my blood! You're stuff is old but I make everything new! You're stuff is pointless but what I have to give you, what I want to do for you, what I want to do with you is all part of my perfect plan! Look, if I hold all things together, if I'm able to hold creation as a whole together, in perfect harmony, with my left hand, I will hold you and guide you with my mighty strong right hand. All you have to do is simply let go.. follow me. Me! And just let go, and allow me to be in total control. And I guarantee I will never let you down. But first, you must let go and let me be who I AM; and trust me, I AM YHWH!"

"The Lord replied, 'I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, Yahweh, before you.' " Exodus 33:19

"Then the Lord came down in a cloud and stood there with him; and he [the Lord] called out his own name, Yahweh." Exodus 34:5

"The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, 'Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.' " Exodus 34:6

So I find myself face to face with Jesus telling me, "If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions...Then come, follow me." And I'm the one now who chuckles to myself, giving Jesus this look that's saying, "Are you for real, of course I want to be perfect!" I simply need to sell all my possessions, but don't know how to. And I refuse to "[go] away sad, for I had many possessions." Matthew 19:22

I must leave my possessions behind. I must leave my possessions way behind. Better yet, I must rid myself of my possessions - which are many. I must empty out myself of all the crap I still hold on to. I must loosen a grip and allow Yahweh to conduct every aspect of my being. I cannot have treasures in heaven unless I do so.

So this is where I am. I need to let go. Of it. Of them. Of me. I need to let Yahweh...

"Exalted" by Chris Tomlin

Please, if you pray for me, whether or not you know me,

find excuses to keep me in your prayers.

"And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Now all glory to God our Father forever and ever! Amen." Philippians 4:19,20